On Attraction

Attraction is a funny thing. It can be immediate, or it can grow over time. It's the second kind that I don't think is given enough credit, or really much of a chance in today's instant gratification society.

And after 26 years on the planet, the laws of attraction still surprise me. It comes in so many forms.

My first encounter with attraction was pretty boilerplate. In my early teens, I fell for a dashing, sweet-voiced classmate. Unfortunately, that ended when he turned into a shorn-headed, tattooed, druggie, rapper wannabe. C'est la vie.

But then, in high school, I was pursued by a tall, lanky, awkward-looking fellow who was a full two years older than I was. I was terrified. But I gave him a shot and we ended up dating, and even though there was no hint of attraction when we first met, he changed in my eyes from lanky and awkward-looking to Prince Charming. I thought of myself as the luckiest girl on Earth. That feeling faded in the years after we split, but I can still feel it if I think back to those times. That's a comfort in these long, lonesome single years.

Also, I have a couple of guys who I've maintained a pretty constant level of attraction to, despite years and changes. I think of them and feel like even if decades pass, I'll still feel the same way about them.

I recently experienced falling out of attraction so abruptly, it gave me whiplash. He's still as good-looking as the day I met him, and I still find him to be very handsome. Unfortunately, his personality and behaviour towards me (whether done on purpose or not) was so ungentlemanly that I just stopped being attracted suddenly.

On the flip side, I recently developed feelings for a fellow that I was not remotely attracted to when we first met, but have since been won over by his personality and friendly interactions with me.

It's so easy for a girl to say "I want a guy who is tall, dark and handsome. Witty, sensitive, romantic, chivalrous, funny, etc...", but you really can't tell who you'll end up with in the end. If you pay attention, that is. I mean, I'm sure that there are plenty of girls that go for their "ideal man" even if he's a terrible match. And that's unfortunate. It's so much more fun to explore the different kinds of attraction and where they'll lead you. Most of the men I described above are in some way quite unobtainable to me, but that's okay, because I'm so fascinated by my attraction to them!

And it feels good to have someone to daydream over ever now and then...