On Staying Young

I've never really been one to keep myself in check. I mean, I may care what people think about me when I'm sitting alone at home and reflecting on my own behaviour, but when I'm actually out and about, I really don't think about that. I've noticed lately, though, that an awful lot of people describe me, to my face, as "funny" or "cute" or even "adorable"

My first reaction is that there's no way that a sturdy lass of six feet can possibly be "cute." Cute is a term reserved for smallish things of varying degrees of cuddliness. And when it was my friends saying it, it was one thing. But I'm noticing that acquaintances, and even strangers are using it, too.

The more I hear it, though, the more I think about it. And I think I've figured it out. "Cute" is the reaction to a little girl's personality coming out of a grown woman's body.

I admit it, I sometimes act like a kid. Okay, I FREQUENTLY act like a kid. When I'm excited, I bounce and clap my hands. When I'm startled or scared, I squeak. I watch cartoons without a trace of irony (and usually sing along). I play dress up. Everyone is my new best friend (even if I'm too shy to show it outwardly). I can't understand meanness. I'm completely transparent. I cry if I think I've hurt someone or if I think I've lost a friend. I'm a spaz. I'd rather spend money on ice cream than shoes. I still haven't mastered the use of the "indoor voice." I speak with my whole body. I still believe in fairy tales. I trust just. When music plays, I dance (even while sitting at my desk).

I used to be really self-conscious about this behaviour (again, not at the time, but later and upon reflection), but lately, I've been embracing it. Why? I'm meeting new people who are just like me. Thanks to going to places like Comic-con, I'm learning that it's okay, and even considered charming by some, that adult life is just a facade for a child to function in a grown-up world. Not all adult children are socially dysfunctional weirdos that live in their parents basements!!

So while I still don't know exactly how to respond when someone tells me "You're so cute!", at least I can understand where it comes from. Now, I know that in the end, my silly little behaviours are going to keep me young when so many of my peers are eating All-Bran and watching "The National."

"Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional."