Can't get enough of this...

The Next Crazy Cat Lady

My dad brought up an interesting point to me today. He not-so-subtly implied that people don't like me because I'm a weirdo.

He said that when I talk about my more unique interests and pursuits, people are turned off because like is naturally attracted to like. So when I talk about all the crazy things I do, like attend pagan festivals and make historical costumes and speak Gaelic and things like that, I'm alienating people by highlighting how I'm NOT like them. What I SHOULD be doing is talking about how much I love watching "The Office" and "House" and how great Lady Gaga's new album is and how I'm super-psyched to see the new Star Trek film. Because that's what people know and are comfortable with. Joe Q Public knows nothing about ancient Celtic history or Korean social customs or needlepoint, and it's much easier to walk away, and brand that person a weirdo than try to learn about them. Sad, but true.

Not that I have to completely hide my strange unique self. Around good friends and people who know me, it's okay. But when I'm trying to meet new people, I should focus on the mainstream. Like who's ahead in the play-offs, and what celebrities are doing what.

There's nothing wrong with being openly unique, Dad says, if you're trying to be the next crazy cat lady.

A Rainbow Connection for a Rainy Day

I hope whoever sees this gets as much enjoyment out of it as I do :)

Romance-ism

More or less ever since I was old enough to have a crush, I've been dreaming about men. Mostly kissing them, and occasionally doing other things with them. ;)

That seems to have changed somewhat.

I'm still dreaming of eligible men, but there isn't that romantic aspect to it anymore. And when I say "dreaming", I mean actually dreaming, at night as I sleep. Muriel suggested that it might signify a kind of romantic maturity, as in I'm respecting men as more than just potential romantic interest. And maybe, after being single for nigh on a year, having an ultimately disappointing crush, and spending too much time with celibate Buddhist monks, there's something to Muriel's theory.

I'd like to think that I've matured. That I've grown beyond the need to seek out sex or romantic companionship. Not that I would reject romance if it presented itself to me, but I don't pine without it.

Sure, I still have my moments of "Why don't boys like me?" but they're infrequent and very superficial. I'm often caught in some strange inner struggle. Deep down, I'm more than content to be alone. I mean, I like my own company...But some socially conditionned part of me keeps reminding me that nearly all my friends are pairing off and ALL of my immediate family already has.

I'm perfectly happy, but there's a little nagging voice that keeps saying "Be sad that you're single! Feel like a failure!" But I'm not sad and I don't feel like a failure. It's a little and superficial voice, but it's still there and I don't know what to make of it.

May Update

I haven't posted in awhile, so I figure it's about time. So here is what's new in my life!

Job: I'm now and office manager/instructor at an adult college! Pretty cool, eh? I get a salary and benefits! HUZZAH!

Hobbies: I've recently (very recently) taking up the fiddle. I'm taking lessons from a local pro and apparently, I'm a natural! I really love it. But getting used to the grip is really taking it's toll. My left fingertips are getting more callused than when I played guitar and my shoulder is killing me from playing without a shoulder pad! But it's all part of the process! :)

Love life: Still non-existant. But I don't mind so much anymore. I'm not sure why...It's been almost a year that I've been single, and 9 months since I've had a lover. But I don't feel like I need either right now. Even men that in the past (including the fairly recent past) I've been attracted to, I feel more compassionate love for than romantic love. That being said, there are times when my romantic feelings for a few individuals may leap back for a few minutes. But really, I'm happy being single for the time being. Although I do wish that creepy ofl men would stop hitting on me...

Home: I don't have one. My Dad will be selling the house within a month and I'll have to go stay with my Mum until I can get my own place. That should be a thrill....Or not.

I miss Korea. I especially miss the people I met in Korea. James, Liz, Kirsten, Avery, Dina, Graham and Gina (my co-workers), all the kids from school, Bright, Lakshumi, Ms Cho, Yongsu Sunim and Jigwang Sunim from the temple, and all the friends I made. I miss being able to stay out as late as I wanted and not have to worry about catching the last bus home. I miss the lady that works at the shop near my apartment that gave me a sly wink everytime I went there with a guy friend (especially the last time when I went with Graham, that was LEGENDARY!)

But all in all, it's nice to be home. Especially nice to be able to speak the same two languages as everyone else.