On Over-Analyzing

I think I've made a breakthrough.

It has come to my attention recently that I over-analyze when it comes to romance. This is most likely why I'm not getting any.

As my sisters have so hilariously put it, when it comes to men, I'm like Sheldon from "Big Bang Theory" I think that, like science, human interactions can be neatly and logically codified. I believe that if I can secure all the emotional and personality-based variables, then I won't have to worry about being hurt down the road, or even worse, hurting someone else.

I can't believe it's taken me so long to realize how utterly ridiculous this is. Especially with Sheldon right in front of me on the TV screen.

Thanks to some wise words from friends, my inner sage, and some emotional turmoil (Oh. My. God...I'm FEELING!) I think I'm finally starting to learn.

I've been so afraid of losing (or in this case, hurting or being hurt) that I haven't been playing the game. I've been dismissing potentially fantastic men just because I think that this or that personality trait will lead to trouble.

Cher once said, "A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." My problem is that I haven't been allowing for those wonderful times for fear of them going wrong. The perfectionist in me is insisting that in dating, like all other things, I must be excellent; I must do this well and better than other people because I'm smarter than your average bear and above all that dating nonsense.

Clearly, this is extremely delusional and must change.

Another related issue is that my views on dating are too black and white. Either I meet someone who is perfect for me with whom I can enjoy a healthy, long-term relationship, OR I find someone for a night or two who I don't have to get attached to. Something in my overly-analytic mind is not recognizing the fun and usefulness of short-term dating.

This leads to a lot of time alone, pining for guys that I think are perfect for me, but, in the end, not at all interested. Sadly, it's tough for me to let go, because it's so infrequently that I meet a guy who I think is perfect for me. I have a hard time accepting that this seemingly perfect man doesn't agree with my analysis, ha ha ha.

Another really amazing thing about the way I think is that it's only in the sphere of dating this this problem occurs. Anyone who knows me will know that I don't care about the future. It's too far away to fret about, so why bother? I'm always jumping into situations without looking and having adventures, not knowing if they'll be good ones or bad ones. So why can't I seem to be the same about romance?

In the end, I just have to accept that I'm NOT smarter than the average bear, that dating someone imperfect IS acceptable (because really, who is perfect?), that dating IS an adventure just as much as travelling the world, that I'm NOT Sheldon, and for heavens sake, I have to remember to FEEL instead of analyze!!