Sept 20

The power of suggestion is a funny thing. The mere suggestion of an electric encounter, coming from the mouth of a man with wit and charm, is enough to make me melt. Regardless if I was attracted to that man in the first place or not. This has happened to me a few times in my life. The idea of being told by a man that we'd be amazing together has a strange attraction to it. It takes balls to do that, especially as I've been told that my height and intelligence make me rather intimidating to men.

My friends tell me that I'm too picky when it comes to men; that my standards are too high. But really, looking at some of the men that I've ended up with or been attracted to, that certainly can't be true. It seems that when I think of what I want in a man, I see the ideal: tall, lean, bright-eyed, intellectual, sensual, etc; basically, I see Prince Charming. But I guess deep down, I know that Prince Charming isn't real, and I'm open to be seduced by any fellow with the sense to know how.

I still think about _______ fairly frequently. I'm working on trying to stop, as every time I do, I feel just silly. I see my own behaviour reflected in fictional characters I see on TV, and I can't help but wonder, 'Is that what I look like?' I know I wear my emotions pretty plainly. I'm not the most subtle of creatures, so I've never been able to hide them, but I worry that I look as foolish as the characters on TV. Not only that, but I feel ashamed because more often than not, the character is ridiculed or pitied for that behaviour. Is it something I can change? Or is it too much a part of who I am? Would my friends find me less endearing if I didn't have this particular character flaw? Would I be happier without it?