Welcome to my Daily Journal!

Introduction:

Okay, this is my first official post in my Stoic "Daily Journal." This is meant to be a record of my thoughts that will help me on the path of self-examination that this Stoic workshop will take me through over the next 9 months or so. It will be mostly daily thoughts and musings, but I may post the occasional random post apart from the daily journal.

This post will include my previous notes, just so I can have them all in the same place. I admit, it took me a little whole to get going with these, but I think I'm in a place where I'm writing down my thoughts regularly.

N.B. For the sake of keeping some level of privacy, I'm blanking any names of people I think about on that given day. Everything else is genuine, and mostly disjointed thoughts that came to me during the day or before bed. New notes will be more coherent, I promise, ha ha ha!

Previous Notes:

Sept 19 - I regret not having the chance to say "I could have been the best thing that ever happened to you" Not because I'm better than all the other girls out there, but because I sincerely believe that it would have been my job to make you happy.

Sept 17 - I ate too much junk food today. It seems two things occupy my thoughts: food and ________. I seem to still need the approval of my father - ex. texting him about starting TKD. I'm worried about _______ after _______ mentioned it. Thought about writing _______ into a story. My fear of men - WHY?

Sept 16 - Didn't make excuses for myself at TKD: instructor commented --> I wanted to make excuse about pain --> didn't make excuse, just said I'd try. This is a nice change from my usual modus operandi.

Sept 15 - Wrote blog post about kissing. It seems that most of my thoughts fall into two categories: food, and the pursuit of romance. Both seem to bring feelings of shame for the most part. But can I do anything to change that? Do I want to? Trying to understand other people, esp. those I like - WHY? Flaws I don't see until after I stop liking them (________, _________ and _______) Someone not admitting their flaws is a turn-off - will I ever find someone who does? Am I expecting too much?

Sept 13 - Dreams as self-reflection. (Saturday's dream with _____ in it) [side note: in this dream, I was confronted with someone I care about treating me poorly, and then telling me that the reason was because they had found out exactly how I felt about them, feelings that my conscious mind barely even recognized. Apparently, these feelings were inappropriate and unreasonable. It was such an intense reflection into my own subconscious that upon waking, I cried for a good 15 minutes before falling back asleep]

Sept 8 - Accepting flaws rather than improving - can someone say that they strive for perfection without admitting their own flaws or thinking about step that can be taken to help them improve themselves? Understanding flaws vs self-training.