Some Thoughts About Kissing

As I watched "Gone With the Wind" this evening, I particularly amused by the line, "You need kissing badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how."

That made me think about kissing. Which led to my mind being instantly filled with "The Shoop Shoop Song (It's in his Kiss)" by Cher. Considerably less classy than Clark Gable, but thought provoking, certainly.

It made me realize that, as far as my experience goes, men just aren't taught how to kiss properly. That being said, I've never kissed a girl, so I really can't say if this is a cross-gender issue or not. Now, before I start rambling out my thoughts, I need to say that I am writing this purely from my own personal perspective, which is limited, and under the assumption that I myself am a good kisser (which I've been told is the case, but obviously, that doesn't mean it's true).

I have been lucky, in my short years on earth, to have acquired what I believe is an average amount of experience for someone of my age and culture. I've been doubly lucky to have been not only a student of intimate things, but also a teacher. And it is from these two different perspectives that I draw my opinions.

And just like Cher said, it's in his kiss. So much can be said from this small, but very intimate gesture. Now, I'm talking about proper kissing between lovers or sweethearts and not a quick peck or a bise from your friends. In my experience, limited though it is, I can say that there have only been two men who have kissed me properly, and with real feeling.

The first was a very expected source of affection, and so, not terribly surprising in and of itself. The second, however, was wholly unexpected, and the kiss really said it all. Until that moment, I had no idea how this particular man felt about me (we'd been friends for several years), but after that moment, I knew. The details are not important, but what is important is that suddenly, here was a man who not only knew how to kiss, but could effectively convey emotion with that kiss.

All the other men who have kissed me have fallen into two other categories: completely inept (most of them), or good at the kissing part, but decidedly lacking in any emotion other than lust (a few honourable mentions).

This made me wonder. Does this have something to do with how men are educated in the romance department? Who are they learning from? Is it us women? If so, why haven't we said anything about this? I hate to think it's our own fault that we've allowed our menfolk to grow up with such crappy kissing skills. Perhaps it's the way we're taught about love, sex and romance as kids. I know I was lucky that my early sexual development was very gradual, natural and healthy, but I know that not everyone had it so good. Is that an excuse for either lamentable behaviour in the bedroom or the tolerance of such behaviour? I mean, it's not like kissing is very difficult, I fail to see how so many can be so off the mark.

These are the kinds of questions that seem to wander around my head when I think about most of men who have kissed me and how incredibly bad they were at it.

I dunno. Is it just back luck that this has been my experience, of can someone else vouch for me?