Then I started wondering why I could possibly justify doing what I did. And the fact is that I KNEW I shouldn't be spending $5 on a latte, but did it anyways. And here's what I came up with:
The truth is that I'm very self-indulgent. But it doesn't end there. I'm only self-indulgent when it comes to small pleasures, food especially. When it comes to other things, clothes, gadgets, etc. I show remarkable self-restraint. And they kind of play off each other. For example: I can easily will myself to not spend money on new clothes or shoes by turning around and letting myself buy an ice cream cone instead. The problem with this is that I've become so accustomed to using food as a source of deflected pleasure that it's become a habit.
Now, I'm left with a habit of using food for pleasure and I have little self-restraint in the matter. I DO wish I ate less (especially less junk food), but if I didn't, I'd be left with little by way of small, private pleasures, so I'm reluctant to find another source of pleasure that is healthier. Besides, the idea of having to train myself out of such a benign (albeit irksome) habit is not one that appeals to me.
So here I am, caught fluctuating between two extremes: self-indulgence and self-restraint. I wish I knew how to find the middle ground in a way that would keep me content.
7 comments:
I've been trying to find that difference my entire life ::P
This is often something I think about. Maybe it's given our backgrounds? Not sure really. I look around and I actually don't own much in stuff, although I browse things I would like to buy (clothes, furniture, shoes, etc...) all the time.
I tend to only treat myself with food too. In the last month or so I have been trying to focus on saving towards things I really want and to save money I would have spent on food items. I keep telling myself if i get better at this i could probably lose weight. Hahaha
If I had a good reason to stop, maybe I could...But I've already discovered that changing my diet won't help me lose weight; only exercise does. :P
I have found, for me, I limit myself greatly. I defer my big spending for only items I need. Like specific tools, instead of multiple kits.
However, I too like a cinnamon venti dolche latte once in a while. Usually 1 per week. Excess is not required. You still need to treat yourself once in a while.
Oh, right now I cannot get to a Starbucks, due to work, so I am having a bowl (3 scoops) of Pumpkin Spice ice cream. I had a very busy day at work, and believe I deserve a reward.
Plus it was another day of fantasies that I held back from :D
Holding back from fantasies? Whatever for?
Because sometimes I don't fancy a jaunt to jail :D
Plus, I'm pretty sure you don't do housecalls :D
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