On OKCupid Courtship

I think I may have scared off yet another man with the idea of actual courtship...

I got a message from a guy on OKCupid. It happens from time to time. I don't actively use the site, but I leave my profile up in the off chance that someone cute comes along. And this one was cute. And not only cute, but in uniform! The first thing on his profile was "I'm in the army as a combat engineer."

After my initial amusement at my own reaction to that sentence (My Mass Effect-saturated brain responded: "A combat engineer? I HATE THOSE GUYS!"), I decided to message him back. This is what followed (sorry for the transcription, I couldn't figure out how to screenshot, lol):

(initial small talk)

Him: Haha what are you looking for?

Me: Something simple, but committed. And short term, because I'm moving out of country next year.

Him: Okay sounds good :) so lots a sex then :)

Me: If you're here just looking for "lots of sex" I'm really not interested. Sex is certainly important in a romantic relationship, but it's certainly not the focus for me. I'm looking for companionship above all.

Him: Yeah I know I'm just being a deushe bag. Sorry

Me: No problem! I just want to be clear as possible...It seems most of the guys on this site are just after sex, and I have no time for that kind of nonsense. So what are you looking for?

Him: Well you said short term. So let's be in a relationship until you leave then

Me: Whoa there, soldier. Just hold your horses. I don't even know you. I don't know anything about you other than your job.

Him: Haha okay can I come spend the weekend with you and we can get to know each other?

Me: OR we can chat a bit here or on Facebook, then we can get coffee if you're in town.

Him: That's going really slow babe

Me: Yes. Yes it is. What else did you expect? Relationships, romantic AND platonic, take time and effort if you want them to be worth anything. The wold isn't ending tomorrow. There's plenty of time. :)

Him: Ok

Him: U realize I live far away right?

Me: I have family in Petewawa. I know exactly where it is. Why did you message me if you're not going to be in town from time to time? Do you expect a woman to just invite a strange man into her home for several days that she just met online? That's a recipe for disaster! Besides, I would think that you living a few hours away would be the perfect excuse to get to know each other before meeting up.

Him: Yeah true. If I had a girl in Ottawa I would come down for sure

Me: Do you have Facebook? It's easier to chat there. :)

...and I never heard from him again. Not that I would really want to.

The whole interaction really made me wonder, though. When did talking and getting a coffee become too slow? Is sex as soon as you meet the norm now? What the hell is so strange about getting to know a person before LETTING THEM INTO YOUR BODY!?!?!?!?! Also, when did "short term relationship" come to mean "lots of sex"? Am I just out of the loop here? Am I taking crazy pills?

Seriously.

Looking back, I also noticed that as soon as a guy start to turn on the douchebaggery, I get really preachy... :P I think I feel like I need to teach those poor misguided souls how human interaction is SUPPOSED to work.

In the end, it's all quite amusing, but I can't help but worry for my own rapidly-fading romantic future. How am I ever going to find love in this superficial, instant-gratification world, when I'm still clinging to old fashioned ideals of courtship and common sense?