On Bad Luck with Friends

*** Disclaimer*** I want it to be known that these are a very general statements I'm about to make. This is against nobody particular, and if you're already my friend (and you know it), you do not figure into this post. Please don't cause drama because you think I'm dissing you or anything, because in all likelihood, I'm not.


I feel like for the last 5 years or so, I've had terribly bad luck with friends.

I make new friends, but can't seem to keep them.

I find I have little in common anymore with my childhood friends.

And the friends that I do have things in common with live oh so far away.

I can't make friends with girls. I'm sure there are reasons, but damned if I know what they are. Maybe I just don't want to deal with drama, or I don't generally like doing girly things.

I can't make friends with boys, because in my experience over the last few years, they're just after sex. Or they just like to party and get drunk.

Even my dog, who is supposed to be "man's best friend" is little more than a very cute, often amusing, destroyer of my house and my serenity.

I'm becoming so isolated that I just don't care anymore. I'm found nothing but indifference or disappointment in society (for the most part) and I just don't want to be a part of it.

It's gotten so bad that going out socially makes me so nervous that I just don't want to do it at all. Although I make an effort when it's an extra-special occasion.

I was hoping that getting a dog would help, but I'm mostly too frustrated and stressed by his misdeeds to really go out and enjoy it.

The worst part is that I'm never really bored or lonesome (except occasionally for male companionship) because I'm happy being alone and doing things I like to do such as writing, crafts and various research/study.

The problem is that I look from the outside in and I'm pretty sure that this is not healthy. Also,I see myself as I assume others must see me, which is weird and antisocial. Or just a bad person.

I can't help but feel, though, this it is my fault. That there's something wrong about the way I perceive the world and the people in it. Or some inherent flaw in my personality that causes me to be like this.

Mostly I'm able to swallow these feelings, but for some reason, today, I just can't.